Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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