Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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