As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
