every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
