i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
