1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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