I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
