I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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