I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
