haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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