Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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