i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
