So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
