and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
