shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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