Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
