What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
