So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
