would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
