And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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