She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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