we have officially mastered the walk of shame
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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