i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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