He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
