I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
