There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
