Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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