Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
