fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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