there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He has the fingertips of a God
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
