try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
