You really coming over, don't trick.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
