Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
