WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
