pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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