I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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