How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My balls are so social today.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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