omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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