can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
