he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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