Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
