hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
