So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Your dad touched me again.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
