This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
