Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i was born a porn star she said
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
