I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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