he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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