Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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