I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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