You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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