I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
